I’m the kind of person who believe in balance. If there’s too much good stuff happening I can’t relax, because I’m convinced something bad is coming. Until this day I have never been wrong.
Good comes with bad, and bad comes with good. That’s how I see it.
Whenever the bad happens, I get angry, frustrated, depressed and think my world is coming to an end. I’m not a nice person to be around in these moments. Not with the small stuff, obviously, but my life has a tendency to have big swings, big ups and downs. And when good comes, I always keep an eye out for the bad I know is coming.
But then I have my good habits. These “downs” comes shortly. For those who have been following me for a while knows how I worry and have solutions for absolutely any possible outcome of pretty much everything. I go into a shell of myself, I cry, I panick. It usually lasts for a few hours before my anger and stubbornness kicks in.
That’s when my real process start. That’s when I start thinking that this bad is a good thing. It’s weird in a way. I think I’ve had a different level of difficulties in life than most people, and to be honest: The bad has every single time turned my life to something better.
I start thinking about how this bad will affect my life. What can I do to change it? Maybe the bad can’t be changed. If it can’t, what can I do to solve it? Maybe a new direction? Maybe a huge change? What do I need to sacrifice to get where I want? What do I really want?
After approximately a day like this, I usually have a solution for every possible outcome.
Yesterday I got some very unexpected, and very bad news. The world was falling apart around me, and I don’t think my boyfriend enjoyed coming home to my lovely mood. I kept working my head around everything, slept bad and got up with a bad mood this morning. Then motivation kicked in and I started sorting out all the ideas in my head from the night before. And now? Well, I have a hundred solutions for every possible outcome. I’m ready to face it, and most of it is solved.
Point being: Bad isn’t necessarily bad. We need that balance to appreciate life and to make changes and try new things. The bad can always lead you down a road to something better. Or just on a different road towards the same destination. Either way, you can’t run from the bad.